


Ode to Snape

by LucyS Malfoy (Willibald)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-14
Updated: 2007-05-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 19:56:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/385287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willibald/pseuds/LucyS%20Malfoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An episode from Snape's schooldays</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ode to Snape

The shout came as he stepped through the door to the Common Room.

'Oi Moony, you're better at this sort of thing than me - got any good rhymes for Snape?'

Remus Lupin carefully put down the bags he was carrying and glanced around for his fellow student. Sirius Black lay sprawled in the window seat in an attempt at a Byronic pose, a scrap of parchment held limply in a trailing hand and a quill clasped to his brow with the other. Tomorrow was the start of the Spring Term and a magnificent winter's sunset was reflecting from the lake below highlighting the would-be poet in crimsons and golds.

'Cape, drape, gape, grape, jape,na...' Remus caught himself, 'OK, spill it, why do you need a rhyme for Snivellus?'

'Because, my dear Moony,' said Sirius, leaping up and grasping his friend by the shoulder, 'I fear that we Marauders have been too harsh on our slimy friend of late, and I wanted to send him a poem to show that we really care for him.'

'Very commendable,' said Remus trying to ignore the large drop of ink that was now running down the side of Sirius' nose, 'what have you got so far?'

Sirius strode to the centre of the Common Room and proclaimed in his best theatrical voice 'There was an old bastard called Snape...'

Remus waited but nothing else followed. 'And?'

'And nothing, my muse has flown, I've got writer's block, I can't find a rhyme that fits... You've got to help me Moony; after all, I have got one of these.'

Understanding dawned, and Remus beckoned for his friend to join him at one of the tables. 

'Now this is all very well, but some people might not think it was about our dear Snivellus. I mean the 'old bastard' could well be that Muggle father of his. No, lets start with 'young fellow' and work from there.'

* * *

In ones and twos the other students returned to the dormitory, and mostly ignored the pair so obviously engrossed in their studies. Pettigrew joined them just before dinner and guffawed so loud that the conspirators feared that they would have to share their plot with the other Gryffindors, but those in the room seemed to understand that Marauder business was not to be questioned. Peter, unable to contribute much intellectually to the great work, contented himself by fetching snacks and butterbeers for the other two. A little after curfew, James Potter ambled into the room, and after a long and passionate goodnight to his latest floozy, joined the other three while Peter cracked open a bottle of firewhisky he had purloined from his father's store during the holiday...

* * *

The next morning, it being the first day of term, there were few owls bringing post to the breakfast tables. There was the occasional package containing essentials missed while packing, only to be discovered by parents after their offspring had left, and possibly a delayed Christmas card or two, so the sight of one of the Castle owls circling the Great Hall to deposit a smoking red envelope on the Slytherin table quickly attracted everybody's attention. Silence settled on the Hall as both staff and students anticipated the opening.

'THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW CALLED SNAPE,  
WHO'S COCK WAS A VERY ODD SHAPE.  
AND ONE OF HIS BALLS  
WAS TERRIBLY SMALL,  
WHILE THE OTHER WAS GREEN LIKE A GRAPE.'

The Hall erupted in laughter much of it coming from the other Slytherins.

Severus crumpled the remains of the Howler and fled back to the dungeon while staff members tried to quiet the jeers and laughter coming from the students. Another term of torment had begun.


End file.
